Brian takes up a job as a drug-sniffing dog for the Quahog police department in order to put some excitement in his life, and is very successful at it. However, a little too much sniffing puts him in rehab, and the Griffin’s must put off their vacation in order to pay for it. But Peter isn’t about to give up vacation that easily, and pretends to be an addict in order to stay at the beautiful rehab center. When Peter gets Brian into trouble, a counselor suggests that he may be the root of Brian’s troubles. And Brian realizes he may need some extended time away from home...

To clear his head, Brian moves to Hollywood to become a successful writer. However, success is no easy task, and Brian can’t seem to catch a break. He eventually does...directing porn. When the family tells him they are coming up to visit, he refuses to let them on the set, in fear they will be ashamed of him. Which leads them to believe he is now a snotty Hollywood big shot. Meanwhile, Stewie lands a part of Kid’s Say the Darnedest Things, and plans to use his hypnotizer to hypnotize the whole world on national television.

When a cigarette company takes over Happy-Go-Lucky-Toy Factory, Peter is made President of the company. They send him off to Washington in order to put a stop to a bill that would prevent them from putting out toys that are making little kids want to smoke. At first he is for it, but when he finds Stewie smoking, he must choose between his job and what is right.

When a hurricane hits Quahog, Horace sells the Drunken Clam and moves to Florida. But, the new British owner, Nigel, turns it into a British Pub. The gang, furious at the changes, retaliates against the new ownership. And in revenge, Nigel frames them sending them off to jail, and tries to win Lois over in the meantime. Now it’s up to the girls to get them out. Meanwhile, under a bet with Brian, Stewie must teach Nigel’s daughter to lose her British accent before her birthday party.

Peter questions his masculinity when he finds out Chris has a bigger penis than him. In order to feel ’bigger’, he joins a gun club and tries to avoid Chris, making him think his father doesn’t like him anymore. Meanwhile, Meg joins the flag girl team at school and believes she is now as popular as the cheerleaders. However, when the humiliate her in public, Lois helps her plan revenge.

Peter plans a last minute scavenger hunt to keep Lois busy on their anniversary so he can play golf. But while there, he is struck by lightening and Death returns once again. However, he is not dead, but in limbo. Death shows him his past and future, and tells him that if he doesn’t change his ways, Lois will leave him soon. Peter demands Death help him find out how he can avoid the divorce, for in return, Peter will him score a date with the Pet Store lady.

It’s fall, and the New Yorkers are invading Quahog to watch the leaves turn color, driving everyone crazy. Lois, on the other hand, is being driven crazy by the lack of respect from her family, especially Peter. She takes up tae-jitsu in order to become more assertive, and it just so happens she’s a pretty quick learner. Peter uses her new found talent in order to get rid of the New Yorkers, which only makes matters worse, and sends the family into an all out war...literally.

Meg goes for an internship at Quahog News 5 in order to get closer to her crush, Tom Tucker. Unfortunately for her, Neil Goldman landed the other spot. When stuck in a life threatening situation, Meg kisses him so she won’t die without having her first kiss, and it’s broad casted to the entire world, making everyone think their a couple. Meg, in retaliation, broadcasts a segment about how gross Neil is, sending him to the top of city hall...threatening to jump. Meanwhile, Stewie plans an attack on the neighborhood bully after his tricycle is stolen.

When Mr. Weed dies, the toy factory shuts down, and Peter is out of a job. Now with the chance, Peter decides to fulfill his dream to become a Knight at the Renaissance Fair. However, when his role model the Black Knight turns out to be a jerk, Peter becomes discouraged.

Now overweight and still unemployed, Peter chooses Fishing as his new career. But when the pickings are slim, Peter puts his house in debt to buy a boat he can use to hunt Daggermouth, a famous fish which would earn him a lot of cash. Meanwhile, Lois takes Meg to spring break and teaches her how to have a good time, a little too well.

When Peter and Lois witnesses the miracle of birth; it persuades them to have another baby of their own, making Stewie fear that the new baby will take his place. After many failed attempts to prevent conception, Stewie shrinks himself down to microscopic size, and travels into Peter's body in order to eliminate all his sperm. But once inside, he meets his future brother, who shares his same hate for Lois.

When Chris witnesses a robbery, the FBI sends the Griffin’s into the witness protection program in the South. Once there, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. Meanwhile, Peter pisses off the Southerners during a Civil War Reenactment, and Chris becomes greatly confused when Sam kisses him. Back at home, one of the FBI agents accidentally lets the Griffin’s location out, and the robber comes looking for them.

Brian goes with the Griffin’s to the Pewterschmidts to clear his head after his sexual urges begin to get the better of him. Meanwhile, Peter finally begins to impress Mr. Pewterschmidt, and they become a sort of friends. But, when Brian knocks up his prize dog Sea Breeze, Mr. Pewterschmidt refuses to let Brian see her anymore. So they run away, destroying Peter and Mr. Pewterschmidt’s relationship, and putting a riff between Peter and Brian.

When Peter finds out that he had black ancestry who was owned by the Pweterscmidts, he tries to get in touch with his African American side. However, when he receives a forgiveness check and uses the money all for himself, he becomes hated by the black and white community. Meanwhile, Stewie goes undercover as a Cheerleader to harness the mind control powers of their pyramid.

Peter helps Joe raise his spirits by helping him train for the Special Olympics. But when Peter fears Joe doesn’t have what it takes, and puts steroids in Joe’s drink. However, when Joe wins he moves on to better things, and Peter begins to feel left behind. Meanwhile, Meg, Chris, and Stewie fight over who gets to keep a money clip of twenty-six dollars they found.

Lois is overly excited about Christmas time, but everything is going wrong. Peter delivers all of the presents to Toys for Toddlers instead of just one, Brian almost burns down the house destroying everything, and worst of all, they’re out of paper towels! All of this together drives Lois mad, and she runs away from home towards the center of Quahog where she plans to destroy the star at the top of the big tree. Meanwhile, Stewie struggles to understand how and why Santa Clause can watch all children 24-7.

As punishment for DUI, Brian must spend a few hours each week working for an old lady who refuses to leave her house. After a few days he can’t take it anymore and tells her the world would be better off without her. However, when he gets home he sees a documentary on her, and finds out that she was once a very talented Opera singer. Meanwhile, Peter becomes attached to three baby birds who find a home in his beard.

Peter and Lois find it hard to understand a family of nudists they meet, and forbid Meg to see their son who actually likes her. Meanwhile, Stewie enrolls in an acting school, and must team up with his enemy Olivia in order to stay.

Lois sneaks around Peter in order to meet with an old boyfriend, in fear Peter will be overly jealous over nothing. But, when Peter sees her with another man, the truth comes out, and Lois suggests they enter marriage counselor. The counselor suggests the spend some time apart, and date other people. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get accidentally super glued together at the hand, and must remain that way for a week.

When Stewie begins to believe that he will never be able to achieve anything if he stays where he is now, he runs off to live on Jolly Farm, a place of make believe on a TV show in England. Brian goes to the airport in an attempt to stop him, and makes it on the plane, which takes off before he can get Stewie off. However, when they get off the plane they realize they are not in England, but in Saudi Arabia. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois travel to KISS-stock where she embarrasses herself and Peter by messing up the lyrics to a KISS song during the concert.

This episode was a special episode, divided up into 3 different stories apparently submitted by viewers. The story lines were different from any others in the series, and had no effect on it. The episode was hosted by Stewie and Brian. Li’l Griffins: In the first Li’l Rascal styled segment, the boys are anti-girl, until they meet Lois who says that she likes a brave man. In order to prove to her who is the bravest, they try to stake it out overnight in a haunted house. No Bones About It: Peter opens a bottle of beer and a Genie bursts out, telling him he has 3 wishes. In order to escape being beaten up, for his last wish, he wishes he had no bones. He escapes from the beating, but becomes a big strain on the family. Super Griffins: When the Griffin’s are hit with radioactive waste, the each gain a super power. At first the vow to use their powers only for good, but it quickly goes to their heads.

When Peter loses a big amount of money on an insurance scam, he decides he needs a Jewish man to control his money. Coincidentally, one happens to have car problems in front of his house. The Jewish man does great, and saves Peter a lot of money. This makes Peter decide that in order to be successful in life, Chris needs to become Jewish. Instead of studying hard, Peter takes Chris to Las Vegas for a Vegas Bar Mitzvah.